To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
