I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
