Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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