There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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