Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
