I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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