You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
