just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
