So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
