Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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