Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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