Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize