matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
