i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
