You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
