Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize