her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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