You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
