Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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