I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
