i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
