GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
