Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
