yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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