she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize