Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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