I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
