We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize