U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize