I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
