In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
