He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
