I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
