If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just tell him i said nine months
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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