didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
