Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize