You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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