GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
