Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I forget how to act sober
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