508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
