God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize