I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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