Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
