it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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