"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
