idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
