i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
