2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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