sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
