Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you traded sex for a burrito?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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