What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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