my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize