i barfeds in our rink
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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