dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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