I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
