i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
