I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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