matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
