apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
