Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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