garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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