About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
