hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
