Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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