One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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