Non-Jews are for practice
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
