Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
