Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
