My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
